Soothing Your Senses
This blanket is so soft, it feels amazing
This is my favourite exercise to do with clients, as the results have so many uses.
If you have a few minutes free here are five questions to consider:
- What are the things you that really like to touch?
- You particularly like to taste, eat or drink?
- You most like to see or watch?
- You love to hear or listen to?
- And can you name anything that you like to smell?
It doesn’t matter if you think of one answer, several things or nothing in response to a question – but here are some ways the answers can be put to good use:
BETTER SLEEP
If you struggle getting good sleep, can you incorporate any of your favourite items into your sleep routine? Maybe listening to waves/ music/ a podcast, bringing a smell that you like into the room or the touch of a favourite fabric will help. Even if you can’t sleep, they may make lying awake more pleasurable.
(There are more suggestions to help improve sleep here.)
PEOPLE PLEASING
Many people I work with have spent a lifetime masking and people pleasing to fit in, and now they struggle to know who they are or put up boundaries.
Taking time to explore nice things happening to your senses can be a great first step in discovering who you are underneath years of masking, or being able to say “yes” to things that are just for you.
REDUCING ANXIETY
Are there anything on your list that you could take with you into stressful situations? It might be putting a weighted blanket over your legs whilst on a zoom call, or putting a favourite item to hold in a pocket whilst on a walk.
Some people have taken answers from the list which are suitable for storage and making up a “mental health box” they can open when needed.
If you find it stressful moving from one activity to another then taking a minute to calm yourself with one of your favourite items can help to reduce the cost of changing plans or activities.
RECONNECTING WITH YOUR BODY
There are many reasons why you might feel disconnected from your body. You might have poor internal signals (interoception), be in a state of sensory dysregulation, healing from trauma, or struggle with your body image.
Having soothing things happen to your senses can be a way of grounding yourself and reconnecting with your body.
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE LITERAL
If you love pressing your face against trees when you’re out walking – could you take a high resolution image of tree bark and make that the backdrop to your computer monitor?
If you love burying your hands in sand at the beach, would containers of rice or lentils work when you’re at home?
Some people have found really creative ways to use the list of items that restore them, so they can get some benefit event when they’re not near to the real thing.
RECOVERING FROM BURNOUT
Often when we are exhausted, stressed or near burnout our bodies want to withdraw and hibernate. You might find that normal parts of your self-care (e.g. eating, singing, yoga, hobbies) lose their appeal as your brain rejects anything that it sees as an extra demand.
The answers you gave to the sensory questions may still work as ways to restore yourself, as your brain might not consider them as demands.
On days that you don’t feel like eating – is there a favourite food that still appeals?
If you just want to stay on the sofa, is there a piece of music that would help – or a pet you can sit with?
Having nice things happen to your body may be a way of getting under the radar when your brain is in “demand avoidance mode”.
SHUTDOWN/ MELTDOWN/ BURNOUT
One person put the list of things from this exercise into a spreadsheet, followed by three columns: ‘Shutdown’, ‘Meltdown’ and ‘Burnout’.
Then they marked which items were useful to recover from each situation. They put the list up in their house, so that other people knew what would be useful to do.
BETTER SLEEP
If you struggle getting good sleep, can you incorporate any of your favourite items into your sleep routine? Maybe listening to waves/ music/ a podcast, bringing a smell that you like into the room or the touch of a favourite fabric will help. Even if you can’t sleep, they may make lying awake more pleasurable.
(There are more suggestions to help improve sleep here.)
PEOPLE PLEASING
Many people I work with have spent a lifetime masking and people pleasing to fit in, and now they struggle to know who they are or put up boundaries.
Taking time to explore nice things happening to your senses can be a great first step in discovering who you are underneath years of masking, or being able to say “yes” to things that are just for you.
REDUCING ANXIETY
Are there anything on your list that you could take with you into stressful situations? It might be putting a weighted blanket over your legs whilst on a zoom call, or putting a favourite item to hold in a pocket whilst on a walk.
Some people have taken answers from the list which are suitable for storage and making up a “mental health box” they can open when needed.
If you find it stressful moving from one activity to another then taking a minute to calm yourself with one of your favourite items can help to reduce the cost of changing plans or activities.
RECONNECTING WITH YOUR BODY
There are many reasons why you might feel disconnected from your body. You might have poor internal signals (interoception), be in a state of sensory dysregulation, healing from trauma, or struggle with your body image.
Having soothing things happen to your senses can be a way of grounding yourself and reconnecting with your body.
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE LITERAL
If you love pressing your face against trees when you’re out walking – could you take a high resolution image of tree bark and make that the backdrop to your computer monitor?
If you love burying your hands in sand at the beach, would containers of rice or lentils work when you’re at home?
Some people have found really creative ways to use the list of items that restore them, so they can get some benefit event when they’re not near to the real thing.
RECOVERING FROM BURNOUT
Often when we are exhausted, stressed or near burnout our bodies want to withdraw and hibernate. You might find that normal parts of your self-care (e.g. eating, singing, yoga, hobbies) lose their appeal as your brain rejects anything that it sees as an extra demand.
The answers you gave to the sensory questions may still work as ways to restore yourself, as your brain might not consider them as demands.
On days that you don’t feel like eating – is there a favourite food that still appeals?
If you just want to stay on the sofa, is there a piece of music that would help – or a pet you can sit with?
Having nice things happen to your body may be a way of getting under the radar when your brain is in “demand avoidance mode”.
SHUTDOWN/ MELTDOWN/ BURNOUT
One person put the list of things from this exercise into a spreadsheet, followed by three columns: ‘Shutdown’, ‘Meltdown’ and ‘Burnout’.
Then they marked which items were useful to recover from each situation. They put the list up in their house, so that other people knew what would be useful to do.
I have a very narrow band of temperatures where I'm comfortable. If we travel somewhere sunny I'm happier in the shade with a breeze.
NOT JUST FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE
I love the fact that anyone can get benefit from doing this. You don’t have to be autistic to make a list of things that feel good for your body.
The part I like most about this exercise is that even if you give it a go and don’t feel any of the extra benefits – something nice has still happened to you.
Please send me a message if you have any questions or would like to book a call.
Best wishes, John
| Soothing Your Senses (pdf) |
"John has helped me to find a lot of clarity and perspective around things that have bothered me for years" - Lawrence, London
Page updated 23 Sept 2025. All text on this website copyright © John Pendal 2013-2025 unless otherwise stated. All Rights Reserved.
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You are welcome to link to any page of this site but text must not be reprinted without permission from the author.